Looking Back on Ten Years

When did that happen? Is seems like just a short while ago we were bringing my daughter home from the hospital and now she's 10...

Her birth was a fairly typical one, sure it was a c-section, but it was scheduled and not at all a surprise (her older brother had been breach.) I'll never forget how happy her Grandma was to finally, after having four wonderful grandsons, finally buy something pink! I, too, was happy to be bringing home a little girl; with two little ones - one boy and one girl - my family was now complete.

But we didn't stay happy for long...

K had colic. If she wasn't eating or sleeping, she was screaming. It was such a stressful time. We tried everything. In probably my least-proud-mama-moment I actually laid her down in her crib and went outside for a few minutes. I. Just. Needed. Quiet. I needed quiet or I was going to snap. We were all on edge,sleep deprived and grouchy. 

(That was her happy face.)

We tried everything. Could she be allergic to something? Should I cut X, Y or Z out of my diet? Could she be lactose intolerant? Try soy formula. (I was nursing.) After two months of screaming, we finally realized that when she ate from a bottle she screamed a little bit less. Our lactation consultant suggested that could indicate she might have reflux. The next day we visited the pediatrician and left with a prescription for an acid-suppressing drug.  I'll tell you, after two solid months of pretty much constant screaming I was willing to try anything!

"Either it will work or it won't," the pediatrician said. "Since it won't stay in her body there's no danger in giving it a try."  About 15 minutes after that first dose, she was a different child. We actually saw smiles; she was happy because she didn't have stomach acid eating away at her esophagus any more. It was miraculous.

After that she was fairly typical baby until she hit nine months; that's when she got her first urinary tract infection (although we didn't know that's what it was at the time.) She just got sick: lethargic, feverish and unhappy, but there were no other symptoms - no ear redness, no runny nose, no diarrhea. Finally, after nine days, the wonderful Island nurse said, " I wonder if she could have a UTI?" 

How he managed to get a catheter into a squirming nine month-old I don't know, but sure enough she had a serious infection. It was so bad that they sent us to the hospital in Petoskey. We stayed for three days so she could get IV antibiotics.

We've been dealing with recurrent UTIs ever since, but she's a trooper. I'm always proud of her diligence in following "doctor's orders."

Then, when she was three, she was hospitalized again - that time for a serious eye infection.

And of course, when she was four, it was confirmed that she had nerve deafness in her right ear. And while each of these incidents seemed huge at the time when I reflect upon them today, they don't seem like such a big deal. Compared to the trials and tribulations of several of my friends, my experiences with K were nothing more than little bumps in the road.

Watching her grow and change has been a wonderful journey; watching her change, while at her core she is still herself. The hardest part is knowing there are fewer years of having her home ahead than there are behind.

She is still desperate to legally drive a snowmobile (and to have to body mass to make sharp corners.)

She has always been an excellent student, although her current teacher (a.k.a Mom) regularly comments on both her atrocious handwriting and the fact that there is no first place trophy for completing assignments first.   

And now she's ten: she loves to read, is fiercely independent, stubborn, a talented artist and a wonderful thinker. I'm often impressed by the questions she asks. Sure she is working on being kinder to her brother, keeping her room clean and picking up after herself - but that's what ten is all about.

Happy birthday K.
I love you.

Three Days

Three days until I cry as you walk across the stage to get your diploma.  

I thought long and hard about whether or not to use this picture, but it really does sum up your first three months of life; you were so unhappy.  You cried. All. The. Time. Nothing would console you.  Until we got the diagnosis that you were suffering from acid reflux and you started taking Prilosec.  After that, you started to smile. 

Then we dealt with a hospitalization for a severe UTI, a hospitalization for a dangerous eye infection, and other trips to the hospital I'd rather forget (including the time you swallowed the quarter, and when you accidentally broke my nose.) As if that wasn't enough, you've also had to deal with sleep apnea, a hearing impairment, ADD, and your more recent ASD diagnosis.  As we lived through those days, it didn't feel all that overwhelming. But now, as I see it all on one page, I get teary as I realize just how much you went through growing up. 

It feels so unfair that you had to face all of that when so many other kids get to breeze through their childhoods. As I ponder your many battles, I keep coming back to Nietzsche's words, "What does not kill me makes me stronger." I believe we can choose to look at adversity as an opportunity to grow - to develop strength and build a strong character. It all seems like a lifetime ago and yesterday at the same time, but with every hardship, you came out stronger on the other side. Your graduation from high school is a big deal - you made it; you fought every battle and won.  

Are your battles over? Probably not. Will life always be easy? Definitely not, but I believe in you. With your strength I know you will be capable of facing just about anything life throws at you! 

Being your mom hasn't always been easy, but I wouldn't have my life any other way. I love you!

Unexpected

My daughter has an eye infection - a nasty one.

Our wonderful doctor sent us to the emergency room on Monday for a CT scan.

K was admitted Tuesday morning and is now getting two different IV antibiotics.
Oh yeah, she has Mono, too.
Joy.

Northern Michigan Regional Hospital has a wonderful pediatric unit. K got a quilt to keep, a stuffed animal, and they are keeping her well stocked with books, videos, and toys from the toy room. (Note to self - make a couple of crib sized quilts to donate back to the hospital.) They even have a computer the patients and parents can borrow. The doctor and nurses are great, and while it stinks to have to be here, I know she is getting top-notch care.